The Inside Out

I finished a book this past weekend that really made me think…no not one I was given to review, but it was the Barnes and Noble free book of the week awhile back so lets pretend I could actually be a book editor or reviewer for Barnes and Noble…it could happen!!! Anyway the awesome book was called Rooms by James L. Rubart. This book sort of stalked me until I bought it. I had already noticed it at Lifeway and was planning to see if it had been released as an eBook (it’s like I have completely stopped reading anything not an ebook yet…). Then like 2 days later it was the free Friday book for the Nook. OK, OK…I’ll read it. One of the descriptions of the book was “Ted Dekker meets The Shack.” Love both of those so I dove in. Without giving away the plot too much there is an awesome story of a man finding out who he really is, and who he really wants to be…and it’s not an easy journey, just like it is for the rest of us. There’s a portion of the book where the guy is talking to himself…except “himself” talks back in an audible way – strange, I know, but it made me think about something: What am I saying to myself, inside my head, that I’m actually listening to…and how much of it isn’t true and isn’t from God?

Take that in…is there stuff in my head, that I firmly believe, that isn’t true?

Yeah…there is! And how much of it am I listening to?

I’ve been trying to be more regular about journaling and really trying to think through that and to be honest, it’s hard. It’s hard to rethink what I’m thinking when there’s no one else hearing it, critiquing it, and talking me through it. And that’s probably the place I need the most work. Depending on others to talk me through stuff. This is the kind of work you have to do yourself cause no one else even knows it’s in there! For me it means more time with God cause He does know what’s in there. The good part is that equals more running! And I’ve come to realize that means getting up early before the rest of my perfect little people get up! And for me, that’s hard too! I love my sleep…but I love time with God more so I’m going to start next week really trying to do better about that! So, any advice here on getting up early would be beautiful (not before 6am…nothing good happens after midnight or before 6am…it’s true.).

How do you listen to God? How do you know what you hear from yourself is right? And how do you mesh all that together?