The Inside Out

Ok I know that a lot of the time we make these big announcement of attitude adjustments that we are “absolutely going to stick by”…and then about a week later they are forgotten. Do you do this? ’Cause I know I do. But this time I waited a full week to postpone my proclamation so maybe that means it’s gonna’ stick (actually one of my good friends, Pastor Jimmy, said it takes something like 28 days to make something a habit so maybe its still a bit premature…but its not really something huge…so we will see!).

Basically it comes down to this: I HATE LAUNDRY. Not just the washin’. Not just the the foldin’. But the puttin’ away almost kills me! So I did what any person who lives to paint something does and completely re-did my laundry room! Logical right? Ok not so much…if the look on my husbands face when he walked in to see the ginormous holes in the wall that I made tearing down the old shelves is any indication – not logical at all!! But a little olive wall paint, a lot of spackle and a quote from “2 peas in a bucket” later and whalla:

If it’s hard to read it says: :I am THANKFUL for my LAUNDRY because it means my FAMILY is close by. I added some nicer shelves on the wall and completely reorganized the little closet with some super cool shelves my Daddy made for me (“thank you Daddy!!!”). All the storage room I made in the closet made it possible to store all the junk I used to think I had to have out of sight! But it also made me toss a ton of stuff I will never need again! AND my kids shoes and book bags are all stored NEATLY in there! But the biggest advantage is I have actually kept up with my laundry for a week! Nothing smelly waiting on me in the washer. No folding yelling at me from the dryer and (almost) all the clothes in the closets they belong! I am super psyched!

One last thing that has seemed to help my terrible attitude about the little room off my garage are the pictures of our compassion children on the shelf. These are the family members who I wish I could wash their clothes each and every day. That little reminder was worth time and effort.

God always seems to find themes in places I least expect it. Lately there’s been a lot on tolerance coming about. We visited the New Spring Columbia campus last week and Perry Noble talked about it. It just keeps popping up. But the thing that has stuck on me was a couple of paragraphs from Marcus Buckingham’s new book: Find Your Strongest Life (I’m gonna’ post my full review of it on Monday). Here’s what he says:

“How often do we stop paying attention to people because we assume we know them? We see what they’re wearing, how they’re talking, the company they’re keeping, and we draw our conclusions. We finish their story for them. We fill in their blanks. And because we stop asking questions, we never really get to know them. We may come to tolerate them. But tolerance is a cop-out.Tolerance is about distance, keeping things separate and putting up with them. It’s not about listening. it’s not about being inquisitive. Though we may tolerate them, we never come to see the world fully through their eyes. And so we can’t empathize with them. We can’t respect them. We can’t love them. We can’t take a stand for them.”

Whew. Wow. Ok Marcus…what do I do with that confrontation. I know I’ve been on both sides of the tolerance issue. As in, I know I “tolerate” people instead of loving and caring for them. But that also means that I am separating them from my little world. I’m pushing them out of the direct line of sight so I don’t I don’t have to constantly look at someone who bothers me, or offends me, or even disgusts me. When I do this I am shutting down opportunities to see people, and at least try to understand them, and try to reach out like Jesus told us to. I’ve also been on the opposite side of the spectrum. I’ve been where I was being tolerated. Where I was being looked down on… because of my clothes…because of my “appearance” to them. And of course I have never made any effort there either. To be so at ease with my close friends and family I am not one to confront anything…yes, anything! But I also don’t like to even think that someone gets to “finish my story” for me…that’s God’s work and you don’t get to mess with that!! That’s when Mr. Buckingham took it to another level…he made me turn the page to see this:

“And who is the first person who suffers from our tolerance? Who is the first person we make assumptions about, whose circumstances we put up with,whom we keep at a safe distance, whom we struggle to empathize with, to respect, to love, truly? Who is the first person for whom we fail to take a stand? Ourselves.”

What?!? I could be doing this to myself?! Wait, I am doing this to myself. Oh great.

2 paragraphs can sure give you a lot to think about. Tolerance is a cop-out. I have to stop tolerating things about myself and dream…step out on a limb…find a positive when it breaks and I fall on my tush…stop tolerating myself by not loving and respecting myself…and let God do what He’s created us for…let God finish my story and stop doing it for Him.

See how evil it is!!??!!

Have you ever been around someone like that? The “I could really care less about that thing that you think is really important” attitude. The “blow it off even though it should be important, but since I can’t do anything with it I don’t care anymore” attitude? The dismissive “someone else will do it because it’s gotta’ get done, but it’s not important to me” attitude. Organizations get it. Friends get it. Churches get it. And I have just discovered how unbelievably contagious it is. It can be just something you just know about one minute and the next it is absolutely all over you…like poision ivy or something. It’s just sitting over there being a demon looking plant one second and the next you’re covered in it. Well tonight I am praying to God for a healthy does of calamine lotion that soaks down deep to my bones. Lord take that care-less crud away from me! Take the care-less people away from me and send me some soothing sweet passionate “care-full” calamine that I can fill up on! Just pump my veins full of it! Amen.