The Inside Out

I’m not in a very peaceful place right now. As a matter of fact it kind of seems like a distant future or lost past to me. And boy do I not like that!! And I don’t understand it. I question it and I doubt myself. I think, “Maybe that’s not what He said to me.” And I worry that my decisions are all wrong. But I did find it interesting to see the things that God has done to try to alleviate that problem for me. And in all reality, I’m hoping that just typing them out should help me to realize that He is always working in ways I don’t see (at least when they are happening…hindsight’s 20/20 right?).

Friends

Isn’t it interesting that God surrounds you with the people who have just the right amount of encouragement, without letting you off the hook, when you’re making decisions? It cracks me up sometimes to think that a simple comment from a friend can seem like just a passing thought… until it smacks you in the head just a few hours later. And I mean really smacks. The kind of smack that hurts, till you realize it’s what you most needed, and that God had put that person there at just that moment because you needed them. God does love us so.

Music

God seems to have quite a handle on my playlist. I can go into a playlist with the intent on being as down on myself, woe is me, depressed, doubtful and questioning as one person can be…and He hits the shuffle. Really God, using an iPod??…that’s cool even for you. After that first leave-me-in-this-ditch song that I chose, God seems to find a way to put just the right song on there that I needed to hear. One that reminds me who I am in Him. One that reminds me who He is. One that says He’s right there and not about to let me down. Music is good for the soul.

Words

I am not overly regular with my daily devotionals. Which is a bummer. ‘Cause God’s got a plan in them and sometimes I miss out. But I’m never more than a few days behind and sometimes catch up is seriously effective too. So since we were out of town this weekend I decided to play catch up in the car on the way home today. And once again, God was ready. Here I spend day in and day out stressing about not having any peace about things and feeling up in the air on some stuff and worrying like crazy and every one of those days in my devotional was aimed at just those things. “Jesus Calling” Missed Day 1: “When things seem to be going all wrong, stop and affirm your trust in Me…leave them in My capable hands. Then simply do the next thing. Stay in touch with Me through thankful, trusting prayers…” Ok God, ya got my attention. I’m listening. “Jesus Calling” Missed Day 2: “Understanding will never bring you Peace. That’s why I have instructed you to trust in Me, not in your understanding…” Oh geez, SMACK. And to think I was supposed to hear that yesterday. Uggh. Then it goes on to talk about how humans have this ingrained pattern of trying to understand and figure out our problems and “gain a sense of mastery over our lives” by solving them. Then the world just lays another big issue on us and we are off on a vicious cycle again. Always searching for understanding instead of seeking Him. If I’d just go to Him with these things, He’d handle them and let me go on about my business at Peace with Him and with myself.

Understanding is overrated.

Peace is not a goal, its a gift. And I’m going to go bask in it.

There is always an adventure in everything…and sometimes you have to search for it a little! Today Columbia, SC was hit with some serious snow. For those of you that don’t know, if the weather man says that there is a 10% chance of a dusting in South Carolina the entire state shuts down…so when they said 5-6 inches, we all almost died! Well, except the Mooney family. We packed up as much as we could fit in the car and drove north! Yes, north! We knew the snow was actually coming from the south and we knew if we didn’t get out before it all hit we wouldn’t make it to…

Monster Jam.

Yes, I did say that out loud.

Once a year we go to the red-neck event that is known as Monster Jam. And we love it. My son and I wear our Grave Digger shirts, our protective ear muffs and we scream at the top of our lungs with all the fans! We love it…I mean L.O.V.E. it! But this year we decided to drive to Charlotte to see the festivities because the trucks coming to Columbia weren’t our favorites. So here we are in a hotel in Charlotte because we had to come up early. And run from the snow.

But what an adventure!

We packed in like 2.5 seconds (and haven’t noticed of we forgot anything yet!), drove in TONS of snow and have had a total blast so far! And yes you can totally have a romantic dinner with your precious children at the table with you. I watched my children stare out the window at the beautiful snow and enjoy the “romantic,” acoustic guitar ambiance with us tonight and I was so impressed. They were perfectly well behaved, enjoyed every minute and were the most amazing children in the world. A Valentine’s dinner can be wonderful if you’re with your favorite people in the world. It was perfect!

I’m so glad we took on this adventure…and the real fun will be tomorrow!

I’m a “glass half full” kind of girl, so I’m not one to have to search for the silver lining too much. And I like that about me. It’s one of those things that keeps my faith strong. For instance, I had the worst stomach virus of my life this week. I actually pulled a muscle throwing up. Yeah, that bad. Silver lining: I lost 5 pounds, gained one back and am now sitting pretty at my target weight. No, that’s not really the way I’d of liked to lose weight, but now that it’s over, that’s definitely a silver lining.

But all week while I was battling this, my Grandaddy has been having tests. Big tests. And Friday we got the news.

And it’s cancer.

It’s confined to his esophagus, they think, so luckily it may be just  one surgery and no other treatment. It’s hard to see anything in that very moment, but that actually is a silver lining. For one thing, it’s not in his stomach like they originally thought. My grandaddy lives to eat, and I think that might have become his favorite past time since we lost my Memomma. But even in this worst of situations there is a silver lining. Because he’s going to be ok. And just like Pastor Andy Stanley taught this morning…He truly does still have the whole world in His hands.